Over the past year, I have regained near enough all the confidence that I had lost in previous years (But thankfully without the mild amount of arrogance that I can admit I used to have prior to 2013!) One thing I have recently found an interest in again besides regular gym training and yoga, is aerial fitness, aka pole fitness/dance and aerial hoop performance.
I used to undergo pole lessons five years ago, and was pretty good at it if I do say so myshard! However unfortunately I’m having a little difficulty getting back to the level I was at back then- I am not sure if this is because of my having PTSD (I have been told that it is normal for people to sometimes almost completely forget how to do things they used to be good at before their trauma) or if my body just genuinely has forgotten anyway as I am restarting something that requires frequent training, after such a long time period! I also worry if the damage I have done to my body in past years plays a part, as I find my hands get too sweaty to grip the pole sometimes, which never once happened to me when I used to train! I am not too concerned about this now though, as with the greatest of respect to all the amazing pole dancers out there, this is not really a skill I need to further my career, as I no longer wish to pursue it professionally, and I probably won’t want to be cast in film roles that require me to do it to a high standard. I hope that does not come across as sounding disrespectful… I will still train as and when I can, as I think pole dancing can be a beautiful and artistic style of performance, and I have the physical strength and stamina for it still!
One thing I have always had a keen interest in since a young age, is learning circus skills- making aerial hoop perfect for me! I am still attending beginners class at the moment, but am making really good progress, as I am quite flexible and can do the splits, which apparently no one else in my class can do! I am also petite in size, meaning I can easily maneuver around the hoop. I love the training, although I do have a habit of being really hard on myself, and if I struggle to “lock in” a move, I worry that others think I am stupid, or that I am a slow learner. (However if I have those feelings, I remind myself that I was the manager of an entire office by the age of 21, and then, lo and behold, suddenly I don’t feel quite as bad!)
I am so happy to be focusing on my fitness again, and have tons of energy! I l also love yoga, and attend classes at my local gym every week. I have recently started Bootcamp sessions, which is quite challenging, but lots of fun, besides the fact workouts have to be done in pairs, and everyone else attends with a friend, so I am left feeling like the last kid to get picked for a team sport! (Thankfully not a feeling I experienced in my childhood, as I’ve always enjoyed and been pretty snuffly at physical exercise!)
May THE SHARD continue to grow in sturdiness and erectness!!!