He Should Have Gone To DFS……

Prepare for another sex pest post….. Well actually this guy wasn’t so much a sex pest, but just a bit of a creepy oddball! In fact I can’t even be sure it was a dude a it’s profile picture on Twitter was a humble egg. So we will say it was an egg tweeting me.

Well this tasty source of protein randomly replied to a photo tweet I had put out in 2012 so THREE years ago…… Asking me if I still had the leather sofa that I was stood by in the pic (It wasn’t even mine) and pleading with me to tweet back! I asked him what the deal with the sofa was and the response I got back was “Please tweet me back, how did the sofa feel? I want to buy it. Do you still have that leather sofa?” Hahaha I looked at his profile and he had about 23 tweets all to girl asking them if they have a leather sofa and begging them to tweet him back.

He didn’t send me anything else weird that day but then today when I checked my Twitter I had THIS message from the persistent dairy product, “Do you still have a leather sofa or have you gone to fabric sofa? Please tweet me back” WTF?!?!?! His fascination with comfortable furniture has honestly SCRAMBLED my brain (Yes bad pun). I mean I understand leather being a fetish- But why the sofa?! Madness, but each to their own I guess. I have not replied to the egg, but I expect he will send me at least two more messages before the day is out.

The above photo is a little sample of his unsolicited expressions of desire for innocent furniture who had no say in what materials they were made from…… I can only (or try not to) imagine what his poor sofa has to endure on a daily basis……. *shudders*. I also am not sure what my friend will think when I tell him a random egg is perving over the inanimate object he sits on to eat Dominos and watch X Factor.¬†Go to DFS buddy- Their sale ends on Monday- Get in there quick son!!