So here we go, once again- Yet another blog crying about my hardships and how I’ve run away yet again to start a wonderful new life somewhere else. Dark sarcasm aside though- Yes unfortunately I did have to leave my former house under unpleasant circumstances. I am not able to discuss this in any further detail, but Sussex police, their Victim Support department, and local women’s charities, have been absolutely amazing. It is all very sad, as obviously this was not the first prolonged, toxic/abusive living situation I have been subjected to. Of course, it is a commonly known fact that someone who has been abused will quite often find themselves repeating the same behavioural patterns and finding themselves in similar scenarios. This will not happen to me ever again, however, as I am due to start victim support councelling/workshops in January- Something I am very much looking forward to. Well, as much as someone can look forward to having to take a workshop as a result of repeated abuse, anyhow.
Now on to that real good shizzle- My wonderful new home in North London! I was extremely lucky that within two days of moving into my friend’s spare room, another actor that I met last year, messaged me to say there was a room available in his house. I viewed the room that evening, and two days later I moved in! It was honestly the best decision I have ever made (Alongside the one to quit my old career to pursue one in acting/comedy, of course) as this is without a doubt, the most amazingly positive, happy and PEACEFUL house I have ever lived in, since I moved out of my parent’s home in 2013! I live with five other talented, creative people, who consist of musicians, actors, writers, music producers and a martial artist/stuntman…. Oh and the tiniest, cutest Snuffiest little puppy named Qi (Pronounced “Chee”)! They are all aware of my past, my present, and the things that have happened to me, making it clear that they do not judge, and will always be supportive towards me. This is the environment I now know I deserve to live in, but have never had the opportunity to. They also have loads of really cool friends/colleagues who often visit, including one guy I have met only twice, but both times he was raving about how amazing Japanese toilets are! (Two of my good friends can also vouch for the incredibility of said Japan based bogs).
I absolutely love taking little Qi for walks, whether it is round the local park, or to some of the stunning countryside locations we are lucky enough to live near. I seriously CANNOT WAIT for the summer, as our area (Near Enfield) has easy commutes to so many beautiful places, including manor houses, lidos, nature reserves, and lots of shopping centres! I feel so much more confident already, and all my friends/family/colleagues have said they can see a huge change in the way I look and behave, both online and in real life.
Oh and I am absolutely loving the fact I now have so much more financial freedom, now that I am not paying a fortune every day to travel into London for work at peak times, and that I am not living with someone who was constantly trying to convince me to give them money, for “business investments” that made no sense. Honestly- this person went through a phase of telling me every waking moment of the day (and texting me about it when I wasn’t physically there to listen) about how if I gave them £750 a MONTH (!) by the end of NEXT YEAR, 2020, they could own a pair of pants that were worn by Keanu Reeves in one scene of The Matrix, and that it would be the “best business investment” that I would ever make in my life. I am dead serious here- this is not an exaggeration. £750 a month, for a year, for pants (That probably weren’t even worn in the final scene anyway). It may come as a surprise, but if anyone is interested in knowing my decision when faced with this groundbreaking, amazing opportunity- I politely declined. I know. Ludicrous.
Weird undergarment investments aside, I have never felt in a better place, both physically and mentally. I have just started meditating and practicing yoga every morning, and am trying to get into a more consistent sleeping routine, as I often have difficulty when attempting to nod off. I am also learning to cook delicious vegan food- Small dishes to begin with, as I lack confidence with cooking, but I am slowly feeling myself becoming more adventurous with it! I am delighted beyond words to have finally been given a long overdue opportunity to live the life I want, with the right people/support network around me, and in an industry that I feel safe and respected in. I know I will take a long time to heal, and it still all feels too good to be true (I genuinely refused to believe what was happening for two whole weeks when I first moved in) but slowly I am beginning to realise that I DO deserve to live a happy, stress free life away from toxic, manipulative people, and that I DO deserve the career opportunities that I have been given. THE SHARD has been re-erected in it’s rightful place!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!