Oreo Oddities & Bizarre “Fan” Theories

This is definitely the weirdest thing to happen to me in a while, and I have a habit of attracting a LOT of weirdness!

I was in Tesco, enjoying my Sunday and minding my own business as I did some food shopping, as you do, when all of a sudden I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned round to see a guy I have never seen before smiling and looking nervous… He said, “I know you from the telly- didn’t know you lived round here!” (I actually didn’t live in that particular area- I was just shopping in Tesco as a change to my usual visit to Asda- y’know… switching shit up and being a bit reckless now and then.)

Now I’m pretty hesitant as it is to speak to people I don’t know, on the odd occasions they do approach me, having “recognised” me, as I can’t always be sure as to where exactly they recognise me from, and I don’t fancy any awkward conversations- Once I was enjoying a lovely day out with friends and some dude came straight up to me and said “I just wanted to say I think it’s terrible what *insert my ex partner’s full name here* did to you!”- It was very spontaneous and kinda ruined my mood for the day, so hopefully ya get my point!

Anyhow, back to the original plot…. before I barely had the chance to reply, the visibly excitable young chap burst out laughing, pointed to my shopping basket and chortled, “Ohhhh gosh… you like Oreos? *more loud laughter* It’s easy to forget that you guys eat and stuff like us non celebrity regular folk!”

DA….. SNUFFLE?!?!?! I have no idea what he meant by “you guys” and I don’t think I want to, but I was totally lost for words, which is not something that happens often! I really wanted to reply with, “Yeah I know- it’s fucking mad, right? As you can see I’m also buying toilet roll, which means I take a shit sometimes too….. mental!” Seeing as I just wanted to get the hell out of there as people were looking, I just smiled, mumbled an excuse and left… with a whole new bunch of comedy material in my head, and the desire to never again shop at Tesco in Three Bridges.

It seems to be a bizarre kind of mindset with some fans of the entertainment industry, that those within it are immune to participating in day to day “normal” acts, such as eating, having hobbies away from the biz, etc…. Why, I am not quite sure, but who knows what shit goes down in other people’s noggings?!