Ok so there’s this really crazy dude I met through one of my friends when I used to live in my old house, who anyone who follows my Facebook or Twitter accounts will have seen me whittling on about, known only as THE HIPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Seriously this is a genuine hippy guy who hasn’t taken his bins out for about 2 years, has a whole room full of cardboard that he’s hoarding in his house and pisses off his neighbours as they have some kind of communal shed which he decided to fill to the brim with bubble wrap and god only knows what else!! I met this chap on my way to the pub with my friend (He is a friend of a friend) and enjoy random drunken conversations with him quite regularly….. I mean seriously this splodger’s whole house is decorated with bin bags!
When I was in his house I found leaves and wood chippings on his grill- When I asked him if he cooks it all he just laughed… Then apparently a block of wood was found in his microwave a few weeks later……. I’ve also heard he got wasted in a supermarket and licked a hammer whilst naked but I’m yet to have conformation as to whether or not that is true! I think this dude is just a crazy stoner with hair to rival Lil Wayne’s and a beard that probably plays home to at least 12 elves….. His idol is the rapper Wacka Flocka Flame and quite often rings me and screams his song lyrics down the phone at me!
I wrote some lyrics about the hippy too that doubles as both an excellent tongue twister and also an alternative song to the tune of the Addams Family… Seriously- try singing this to the tune of the Addams Family, it will get stuck in your head and you will love it… Or want to punch me…. Or something:
If the hippy’s happy hoarding, he’s a happy hoarding hippy,
If the hippy’s happy hoarding let the happy hippy hoard.
I bet you’re wondering what you just took 5 minutes out of your precious lives to read, don’t you???
Anyway, to to the left is a nice little photo my friend edited for me to celebrate all things hippies and bins.
Bye for now splatters and splatettes!