The Unbearable Borat Bombardment Of Crawley

I never seem to have “normal” encounters in nail salons of late- Perhaps it’s because the staff know that there are a million other places I’d rather be, or perhaps the fumes from their liquids/equipment has finally gone to their heads! The latest weird experience came when my local salon staff decided to play the theme tune to the popular Sacha Baron Cohen character “Borat”. Yes. BORAT of all film themes they could have chosen.

When I arrived there was a tv playing “normal” music at a “normal” volume which suited me just fine. However about ten minutes after I sat down, the lady on reception turned off the television and a few seconds later the salon was filled with the theme tune to Borat!! (The opening to his show where he’s grinning and waving manically). It was hilariously weird regardless, but the song just kept playing on a loop, over and over again non stop…. for pretty much the entire duration of my visit, which would have been around 90 minutes! In the words of the good man Cee- Lo Green…..”WHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYY????????” The staff were really smiling and genuinely seemed so happy that the music was  playing….. I mean it’s great they were happy as I love seeing other people being positive, but why did it need to be on a loop for an hour and a half….. And why Borat?!?! Also no other customers appeared to find the continuous nonsense out of the ordinary…. Well either that or they were too scared to say anything!

I haven’t been back since, and for at least a day afterwards I had that goddam awful chirpy little tune in my head…..

You can listen to the sacred song in all it’s glory here: Imagine having to listen to 90 minutes of this shit on repeat!!

No need to thank me for increasing your IQ with this highly intellectual post!